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October 30, 2013
By Betty Brant 

Barely two months have passed since the infamous day that has been come to known as “The Manhattan Incident,” it seems that the resident of New York City have been shocked into finding out that not all of the threats to them have disappeared as easily as those alien attackers had. 
Over the past two months the amount of ‘mysterious circumstances’ deaths have peaked whilst witness sightings of so-called ‘vampires’ and ‘suspicious creatures’ have also risen - according to police figures. But whilst these figures have shown that we may not be alone in this world, government agencies - like the ones behind the clean up of ‘The Manhattan Incident’ - have denied that these supernatural creatures could possibly exist and these attacks are, in fact, the work of a Halloween-costume abusing gang. 
However I am not so convinced.
I have spoken with some of the witnesses who have seen things such as a man standing over body, hunched over with his face twisted and ‘fangs’ dripping with blood, odd beasts that seemed to howl in Central Park and a headless man on horseback riding through the streets before promptly disappearing. All of these stories seem like ghost stories that you tell children at campfires but then, I heard the same tales over and over again. 
But where are those shining heroes we saw fight on the day of ‘The Manhattan Incident’? Locked away in their towers and no where to be found? Do we have any hope in fighting these new threats?
Eye witness reports have seen young girls, no older than eighteen, saving people from these vicious monsters using what seemed to be medieval weaponry before disappearing into the night. If anything, right now, we must thank them for watching over our streets when we have no one else.

Citizens of New York, our Government is refusing to act against these murders as are our so-called “heroes,” they have urged us to stay inside after dark but have not increased security in the city. The city of New York City is still not locked down, even though most of it’s residents have fled. 

My question is; when will we see action from the people who’ve sworn to protect us?

October 30, 2013

By Betty Brant 

Barely two months have passed since the infamous day that has been come to known as “The Manhattan Incident,” it seems that the resident of New York City have been shocked into finding out that not all of the threats to them have disappeared as easily as those alien attackers had. 

Over the past two months the amount of ‘mysterious circumstances’ deaths have peaked whilst witness sightings of so-called ‘vampires’ and ‘suspicious creatures’ have also risen - according to police figures. But whilst these figures have shown that we may not be alone in this world, government agencies - like the ones behind the clean up of ‘The Manhattan Incident’ - have denied that these supernatural creatures could possibly exist and these attacks are, in fact, the work of a Halloween-costume abusing gang. 

However I am not so convinced.

I have spoken with some of the witnesses who have seen things such as a man standing over body, hunched over with his face twisted and ‘fangs’ dripping with blood, odd beasts that seemed to howl in Central Park and a headless man on horseback riding through the streets before promptly disappearing. All of these stories seem like ghost stories that you tell children at campfires but then, I heard the same tales over and over again. 

But where are those shining heroes we saw fight on the day of ‘The Manhattan Incident’? Locked away in their towers and no where to be found? Do we have any hope in fighting these new threats?

Eye witness reports have seen young girls, no older than eighteen, saving people from these vicious monsters using what seemed to be medieval weaponry before disappearing into the night. If anything, right now, we must thank them for watching over our streets when we have no one else.

Citizens of New York, our Government is refusing to act against these murders as are our so-called “heroes,” they have urged us to stay inside after dark but have not increased security in the city. The city of New York City is still not locked down, even though most of it’s residents have fled. 

My question is; when will we see action from the people who’ve sworn to protect us?

Mr Jameson, I have photographs from the S.H,I.E.L.D. attack on the private investigator's office. I read your editorial and I think it is important they are published. Is there a secure way they can be sent to you?
Anonymous

Yes you can send it to myfoot@upyourass.com.  I don’t take anonymous picture sources for my stories.  So many loopies out there with a camera and photoshop.

-JJ

Your current reporter, the Porker boy is such a tool! Why don't you give him the big boot JJ?
Anonymous

Porker Boy?  You must mean Parker.  And I don’t let him get anywhere near the stories.  He’s much too naive and stupid for a job like reporting.  He can barley handle his camera as it is.

-JJ

Questions? Suggestions? Hate?

"Heroes"

In light of the recent mass broadcast from the terrorist organization calling itself HYDRA, we at the Bugle have one thing to ask…Where are our so called Heroes?

We were under the impression that that’s what they were here for.  To protect us, to bring us safety.  But all they have done is brought down destruction and chaos upon our lives.  Countless lie dead due to their lack of work ethic, their failures.  

Why do we even allow these…vigilantes to roam free and do as they please?  Our eyes are open now, the gruesome pictures and video of the people who are our protectors killing helpless civilians.  By the dozens.  And there’s not a damned thing we can do to stop them.

And what about those monsters, demons, and horrid creatures that now threaten our lives?  What is being done about that?  Looks to me like a whole lot of nothing.  Just sitting around on their asses and causes untold destruction and death.  All of these images and stores are frightening.

So I, J. Jonah Jameson ask you New York, is our lives really better with these “heroes”, monsters, and Big Brother watching out for us?  No, we are not.  And it’s time for us to take a stand.  To tell them “No,we don’t need you”


Said you wanted to run a story about a real American hero, JJ?

Captain America, the famous alias of Steve Rogers, has been sighted once again returning to New York. For those of you that need to brush up on History lessons, Steve Rogers was an experimental military miracle of the 1940s, a man that was constantly refused entering service due to sickness to a Super-Soldier. With inhuman strength and incredible tactical abilities, Captain America has been the source of super-hero worship for many decades, fans bursting with excitement during the New York Battle once it appeared the our patriot had survived the self-sacrificing action to plunge into the ice and save our very city. 
Let’s not forget our heroes away from home, though, the men that don’t have serum in their blood but are fighting battles on behalf of America overseas. 
———————————————————————————————————
Now that’s a real hero there.  Not those cowards that hide behind masks and try to foll us all into believing that they are doing good, when we all know that they’re just causing more havoc and mayhem.  I’m looking at you Spider-man.  If you’re such a hero, then take the mask off
-JJ

Said you wanted to run a story about a real American hero, JJ?

Captain America, the famous alias of Steve Rogers, has been sighted once again returning to New York. For those of you that need to brush up on History lessons, Steve Rogers was an experimental military miracle of the 1940s, a man that was constantly refused entering service due to sickness to a Super-Soldier. With inhuman strength and incredible tactical abilities, Captain America has been the source of super-hero worship for many decades, fans bursting with excitement during the New York Battle once it appeared the our patriot had survived the self-sacrificing action to plunge into the ice and save our very city. 

Let’s not forget our heroes away from home, though, the men that don’t have serum in their blood but are fighting battles on behalf of America overseas. 

———————————————————————————————————

Now that’s a real hero there.  Not those cowards that hide behind masks and try to foll us all into believing that they are doing good, when we all know that they’re just causing more havoc and mayhem.  I’m looking at you Spider-man.  If you’re such a hero, then take the mask off

-JJ

Obituary: Gwendolyn Maxine Stacy

Gwendolyn Maxine Stacy passed away on 8th June 2013, daughter of the recently deceased Captain George Stacy. She was a sharp-minded young student at Empire State University and beloved by all. At eighteen years old, Miss Stacy was not only one of the most brilliant scientist’s at college but had also secured a bright future for herself through incredible academic studies.

The Roosevelt Island Bridge will be closed until further notice for maintenance. On-site construction teams have been busy for the last three hours, starting repair works on the 58-year-old bridge that was damaged by a storm last night. Authorities say they are “hopeful” the that bridge will be available for public use again within the week.

The Roosevelt Island Bridge will be closed until further notice for maintenance. On-site construction teams have been busy for the last three hours, starting repair works on the 58-year-old bridge that was damaged by a storm last night. Authorities say they are “hopeful” the that bridge will be available for public use again within the week.

Controversy Surrounds Murder of Polish Ambassador

Polish ambassador Antoni Kania was found dead in his house during the early hours of the morning. His cleaner, who has requested to remain unnamed, was coming in to work at nine o’clock in the morning. when she realised the door wasn’t locked. Upon entering the house, she promptly found the body of Kania lying on the sofa, and immediately called the police. 
The house shows few signs of a struggle, however Dominika Kania, Ambassador Kania’s wife, has been reported as missing. The forty year old blonde woman works as a counsellor and has been known to make strong political statements against immigrants and the European Union. Security footage saw both her and her husband entering their home late last night, and that shortly after six in the morning, all security systems stopped functioning. 
The police refuse to comment on what evidence has been found at the crime scene, however warn that the murder was probably committed by a male of average height, as suggested by the strangle marks on Ambassador Kania’s neck. If anyone sees Dominika Kania, accompanied or not, readers are recommended to contact the police immediately.

Controversy Surrounds Murder of Polish Ambassador

Polish ambassador Antoni Kania was found dead in his house during the early hours of the morning. His cleaner, who has requested to remain unnamed, was coming in to work at nine o’clock in the morning. when she realised the door wasn’t locked. Upon entering the house, she promptly found the body of Kania lying on the sofa, and immediately called the police. 

The house shows few signs of a struggle, however Dominika Kania, Ambassador Kania’s wife, has been reported as missing. The forty year old blonde woman works as a counsellor and has been known to make strong political statements against immigrants and the European Union. Security footage saw both her and her husband entering their home late last night, and that shortly after six in the morning, all security systems stopped functioning. 

The police refuse to comment on what evidence has been found at the crime scene, however warn that the murder was probably committed by a male of average height, as suggested by the strangle marks on Ambassador Kania’s neck. If anyone sees Dominika Kania, accompanied or not, readers are recommended to contact the police immediately.

Places to take my girlfriend on a date? Haven't got much money and parents don't like me using the car, but I don't want to stick with just the movie dates and dinner. She's something special.
Anonymous

I sent this along to someone who could handle this a bit better than me.  Go look at it.  My answer would be but her some McDonald’s because it’s a nice cheap date.

-JJ